One of the ways the sprawling film/music/interactive(??) festival helps you plan your week is an online event tracker. It’s easy to lose hours on end playing around inside this thing, and like a black hole of absurdity you become numb to some of the more bonkers-sounding panels. Unless you’re me, and you list them on your blog.
Here they are, with the caveat that I’ll probably be attending them all:
Combating Online Hate with Compassion – Good luck with that.
Special Announcement from Capital One – “We’re proud to announce… You’ve reached your credit limit.”
Everybody Dies: What Is Your Digital Legacy? – (Don’t say porn, don’t say porn, don’t say porn…)
A Conversation With Jake Gyllenhaal – Guys, hear him out.
Book Signing: Abbi Jacobson – Yasssss kween. Now can I meet Ilana?
Arabs Be Like: The Modern Middle East – Submitted without comment.
Digital Identities: Modern Underground Currencies – Mole people need to pay for things too.
Lifehacks for Dads Who Do Fifty Percent: A Meet Up – I’m there. Although my wife might take issue with the “fifty percent.”
One Robot Doesn’t Fit All – Just ask John Connor.
Agile as a Company Culture Change Agent – Subject verb agreement as a mass taco bleeding and other words.
How Crowdfunding Can Screw Your Distribution Plan – It involves Rohypnol.
A Human and Robot Play a Drawing Game – Spoiler alert: it ends in murder.
Making Epic Sh*t – Stop with that, come on…
A Personal Shopping Experience (Minus the Person) – Or, Amazon.
Everything You Think About A/B Testing Is Wrong – Well damn. I don’t think anything about it. So does that mean nothing is wrong? *head explodes*
If You Are in Advertising, You May Be a Racist – I mean, sure, but you can say that about almost every awful profession.
Your Future Life with Robots: Explained – Spoiler alert: you get murdered.
Fuck No. Shit Yeah! Damn Right? – Stop yelling at me.
How To Stop Speaking in Bullshit – Pot, meet kettle.
What the F*ck Is Music Supervision? – I don’t know! Stop cursing at me and tell me already!
Your Life, Let’s Design Think That – This Title, Sense Make Doesn’t It
An Honest Conversation with Yik Yak – “Yik?” “Uh… So, Yak? Sorry.”
CANCELED: How to Grow Ideas – Oh, well, guess we’re all fucked.
Let’s Drop the Term Millennials – THANK you.
I can’t wait! Super psyched, guys. It might be hyper corporate, and maybe a little cynical, and sure lots of this programming sounds like it’s straight out of a focus group, but I’m still lucky to work at a place that foots the bill for the trip.
I just hope no one ruins my week by calling it “south-by.” Come on, how much more effort does it take to say “southwest?”